Factoring the Biology of Love into Catholic Sexual Ethics

Today we have two seemingly conflicting calendar events coinciding: Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s Day. If you want to reflect on Ash Wednesday themes, please consult the Ash Wednesday installment of New Ways Ministry’s “Journeys: A Scripture Reflection Series for LGBTQ+ People and Allies.”  A reflection for Valentine’s Day is below.

If you are a Catholic concerned about LGBTQ+ equality in the church, one topic that is surely at the top of your mind is the importance of moral approval of same-gender sexual relationships. Those thoughts may be foremost in your mind today, Valentine’s Day, a time to reflect on the goodness of love, commitment, and relationship.

If you’ve done any reading or research about the Catholic hierarchy’s ban on sexual activity in same-gender relationships, you’ve probably read a lot of theological and philosophical arguments about the meaning, symbolism, and purpose of loving couples. You’ve probably read a lot of material that is supported by moral theology, sociology, psychology, and other academic disciplines.

One field that is not as widely discussed in these debates is biology. I’m not talking about the biology of reproductive mechanisms, which indeed does receive an outsized chunk of discussions about the morality of sexual activity. I’m talking about a new area of biological research which shows how our needs and desires for love and commitment are heavily influenced by chemical influences in human bodies.

National Geographic posted a good introductory article about the biological science of human relationships, entitled, “What happens to your body when you’re in love—and when you’re heartbroken.” The writer states at the outset, “Not only do we need romance, but it can help improve our health and even lead to a longer life.”

The author explains:

“While the heart usually gets the credit, most of the benefits associated with love originate in the brain which is evolutionarily programmed to produce and release hormones when we experience attraction, affection, and attachment.

“Scientists are discovering that seven hormones play an important role in human love and attraction.” (For an explanation of which hormones affect which aspects of love and connection, see the article itself.)

What is more significant to me than the individual chemical effects is the discovery of how the human desire for love and interpersonal connections affect other biological dynamics:

“Regardless of why or when love-related hormones are released, each chemical is associated with different mental and physical health benefits.

“When the love network is turned on, it activates the brain’s reward centers, releasing a cascade of hormones, neurochemicals, and natural opioids, that make us feel joy and also help our body heal and our mind deal with pain,” says [Stephanie] Cacioppo [Cacioppo, a neuroscientist at the University of Oregon and the author of the book Wired for Love: A Neuroscientist’s Journey Through Romance, Loss, and the Essence of Human Connection].

“Some of the proven benefits of having love in your life include reduced stress, better sleep, improved immune health, reduced pain (research shows that having more oxytocin in the blood helps with healing), less depression, enhanced problem-solving skills, improved cognitive function, and even longer life.

“Secure relationships of both the romantic and non-romantic variety, ‘create biological states that promote relaxation, growth and restoration,’ [Sue] Carter [emeritus director of The Kinsey Institute in Indiana] says. ‘Across the lifespan, building loving relationships is critical to good health.’ “

Whether or not you are in a romantic relationship, you can still access the biological benefits of love:

“It can also be helpful to recognize where you are and possibly expand your comfort zone to form more meaningful connections with existing loved ones or new associations.

“If you’re in a relationship that seems to be lacking in love and the feel-good hormones that accompany it, Langeslag suggests spending more time with your partner, focusing on their strengths and your happy memories together, or engaging in physical intimacy as ways of triggering the release of these chemicals and improving your connection.

“And if you’re not currently in a romantic relationship, hormones associated with love can still be triggered by spending quality time with family members and close friends, hugging them, enjoying nature, and even interacting with your pets at home, says Larkin.

“The one thing you shouldn’t do is embrace a life of being alone. Like many other mammals, humans have not evolved to live as solitary creatures. “Love is not optional. It is not something we can do without,” says Cacioppo. “Love is a biological necessity.”

The article also examines what happens biologically when humans become heartbroken by a break-up or a death.

These new scientific advances provide a whole new area of inquiry for church scholars who promote the equality of same-gender relationships with heterosexual ones. If love and relationships provide so much benefit for human health and flourishing, it means that opposing same-gender love is causing harm to people’s health and longevity. That can’t be a good thing to do.

Many Catholic advocates for LGBTQ+ people have long argued that a church such as ours, which bases morality in natural law, should be paying attention to scientific developments about the naturalness of non-heterosexually oriented people and non-cisgender people. Likewise, advocates for natural law need to pay attention to the health benefits of loving relationships, and adjust their morality based on how important love is for our lives.

—Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry, February 14, 2024