Transgender Activist’s Funeral Was Moment for Catholics to Learn from Queer Culture

Mourners accompanying the casket of Cecilia Gentilini during her funeral

A funeral for transgender activist Cecilia Gentilini at New York City’s St. Patrick’s Cathedral prompted strong backlash from anti-LGBTQ+ critics, as well as Cardinal Timothy Dolan and the Archdiocese of New York. But some pro-transgender Catholics have a different take on the controversial liturgy, suggesting it actually did much good.

In the National Catholic Reporter, authors and musicians Jessica Gerhardt and Arend Lee Jessurun affirm that Gentili’s funeral was “a liturgy of joy rooted in Christian values of charity, human dignity and hope of everlasting life.” The authors point out that Gentili, as a baptized Catholic, was entitled to a Catholic funeral. Importantly, they also note that what is considered “appropriate” within liturgical spaces varies by culture. Though some critics took issue with some of the language and behavior displayed at the funeral, Gerhardt and Jessurun offer crucial cultural context:

“One of the most controversial moments occurred when eulogists Liaam Winslet and Oscar Diaz addressing the deceased as, ‘esta puta, esta gran puta, la santa Cecilia, la madre de todas de las putas,’ that is, ‘this whore, this great whore, saint Cecila, the mother of all whores.’ Such language is understandably shocking to many sensibilities, but context matters.

“Within Gentili’s community, the word ‘whore’ is a reclamation of a slur used with affection, much like the word ‘queer’ itself. Organizer Fran Tirado said that if Gentili called you a whore, this was her highest compliment. Here, a word once used for shame is used to honor a motherly heroine. This esteem was also on display the moment a woman of color exclaimed ‘Ave Cecilia!’ during the cantor’s rendition of ‘Ave Maria’ and danced down the aisle, also prompting conservative ire. But ‘ave’ is a greeting akin ‘O Cecilia’ or ‘Dear Cecilia.’ More importantly, that someone saw the likeness of Mary, mother of compassion, in Gentili should make us hopeful.”

To those unfamiliar with queer culture, aspects of the funeral may have appeared unusual. But, Gerhardt and Jessurun argue, “to those of us who were looking for it, the fruit of the Spirit abounded in Gentili’s funeral: love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness and faithfulness were expressed beautifully through music, readings, solidarity and words of remembrance.”

Rather than reacting with fear and revulsion, these writers call for Catholics to embrace the funeral as an opportunity for listening, encounter, and learning. Although the funeral had aspects that may have been unfamiliar or outside of the norm, this does not mean that they were inherently bad or ought to be rejected. 

Allison Hope, writing in CNN, described the service as “a massive, fabulous funeral…filled with love and tears of laughter and sadness” and likewise argues that such an occasion  serves as an opportunity for observers to listen and reflect rather than to judge. Instead of St Patrick’s holding a Mass of Reparation, Hope argues:

“Jesus would have washed their feet, not cast them out or grandstanded about needing a reparation mass. He would have acknowledged the honest and incredibly difficult life Gentili and her friends who came to honor her lived. How she devoted her life to service to others, living the mission the church preaches, perhaps more honorably and authentically than many of those casting judgement.”

According to Hope, “the colorful expression of queer people” in mourning and celebration of a life loved and lost is something to be embraced, not condemned.

More critically, Nicholas Sawicki, an archdiocesan employee in Galveston-Houston, acknowledged in America that the gathering was an event of great significance. “Nearly 1,000 individuals from some of society’s most marginalized communities were welcomed into the iconic cathedral, before the font of mercy that is Jesus Christ and prayed for a deceased friend,” Sawicki writes, and that is reason enough to rejoice. Though Sawicki criticizes perceived individualism in the motivations of the funeral’s organizers, he ultimately affirms that criticisms of the funeral based on Gentili’s identity as a transgender woman are unacceptable because the church is a home for all, transgender people included.

Indeed, if the church is to truly be a home to all, then there must be space not only for authentic expressions of joy but authentic expressions of mourning as well. When we encounter joy and grief that appear different from our own, this is an opportunity to grow, not something to be avoided. In the words of Gerhardt and Jessurun:

“It would be wise for Catholics to practice forbearance and walk alongside LGBTQIA+ folks, seeking a way to worship together. And it would be holy if all Catholics sought to imagine what might be the charisms of queer culture and spirituality, not just for queer people but for the whole church.”

—Phoebe Carstens (they/them), New Ways Ministry, March 12, 2024 

1 reply
  1. Thomas Deely
    Thomas Deely says:

    Phoebe,
    Thanks for your most valiant take on Cecilia’s funeral at St. Pats. I am a Roman Catholic priest, brother of a now deceased wonderful gay brother and of a most lovely and talented non binary niece (or “nibling”) as she tells me. I have said most often in my comments here in New Ways that I am on a growing “learning” and (unlearning) curve bolstered by the challenges of my deceased brother and live nibling…Your article shot me up on that curve much like the rockets from Cape Kennedy we see almost daily here in New Smyrna Beach, South Florida…Thanks Phoebe

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