Pope Francis Tells Parents of LGBTQ Children: “Never Condemn a Child”
Pope Francis greeting crowds at an audience on August 4, 2021
Pope Francis has again made supportive remarks for parents of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and queer children, saying further that the parents must not condemn their children.
The pope made the comments during his usual Wednesday audience this week. Crux reported:
“‘I am also thinking of parents faced with their children’s problems,’ Francis said. ‘Children with many illnesses, sick children, even with permanent illnesses: how much pain there is. Parents who see different sexual orientations in their children; how [to] manage this and accompany the children without hiding behind a condemning attitude.’
“The pope continued speaking about parents who see their children leaving, dying, because of an illness, and kids who do ‘things of youth’ and end up in a car accident. Francis listed many other ‘parental problems,’ including children who don’t advance in school.
“‘Let’s think about how to help them,’ Francis said. ‘And to these parents I say, don’t be scared. Yes, there is pain. A lot of it. But think about how Joseph solved the problems and ask Joseph to help you. Never condemn a child.'”
These remarks are but the latest in Pope Francis’ support for parents of LGBTQ children. In 2020, he welcomed members of the Italian parents group Tenda di Gionata (Jonathan’s Tent) to an audience. After receiving a copy of the group’s book that tells parents’ stories, the pope told those in attendance: “The Church does not exclude [your children]. . .It loves your children as they are, because they are children of God.”
But Francis has also exhorted parents to care for their children, not to condemn them. In 2018, asked during an in-flight press conference what he might say to parents whose child came out, the pope said, “Do not condemn. Dialogue. Understand. Make space for the son or daughter; make space so they express themselves.” Parents, Francis said, should seek help if they are unsure of how to respond, but should always be in conversation and never “chase [the child] away from the family.” He repeated the need to never condemn or throw an LGBTQ child out of the home in 2019.
Pope Francis’ strong words to parents against condemning their queer children could have quite a positive impact if they are received. For example, in the United States, around 40% of unhoused youth are LGBTQ-identified. A majority of this LGBTQ population are unhoused because religious families rejected them after the child came out. If Catholic parents, particularly those who might adhere to non-affirming theologies, take the pope’s words to heart, outcomes for both LGBTQ young people and for families could be greatly improved.
Now available: Blessed Parents is an anthology of stories from Catholic parents from Italy who have LGBTQ children, now available in English from New Ways Ministry. Though across different cultures with different customs, what shines through these stories is the universal love that all parents have for their children. To learn more or order your copy, click here.
—Robert Shine (he/him), New Ways Ministry, January 27, 2022
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
– Saint Paul
A number of the reports on Pope Francis’ latest comment refer to it as “unscripted”. In fact, it appears very clearly in the Vatican website’s official transcript of his Audience Address: “And I am thinking, too, of parents in the face of their children’s problems: …… parents who see different sexual orientations in their children; how to deal with this and accompany their children and not hide in an attitude of condemnation.”
This is not usually the case when he makes off-the-cuff remarks.
The Pope needs to actually say the word “Transgender” and the word “Non-Binary”. These are the most vulnerable in the LGBTQ+ spectrum and the ones most glaringly absent in any discussion in our Church. LGBTQ+ does not equal Gay. The T has meaning and that meaning is frequently erased when anyone starts talking details.
There is a 50%+ (Williams Institute) suicide rate in trans youth. That’s not because of who they are, rather how society around them reacts to their existence. This is a pro-life issue. Rhetoric from our Church is a big part of why society reacts the way it does.
The Pope needs to do better. The USCCB needs to do better. And even here at New Ways Ministry, where you clearly do understand that transgender and non-binary people are also children of God and made in God’s image the same as anyone else, you need to do a better job of centering trans voices and making sure they are being heard and seen when it appears they are being erased.
In essence, equating children afflicted with illnesses to children afflicted with different sexual orientations is a throwback to the days before a diagnosis of homosexuality was removed by the American Psychiatric Association from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) in 1973. This is an illusory correlation. There seems to be such desperation to be accepted by the Church that baby steps like Pope Francis’ latest comments are hailed as “strong words” when they do little to bring about change in the day-to-day lives of LGBTQ persons and their parents who desire meaningful inclusion in faith communities. Where are the deliverables from the Vatican?
Very well stated especially on the desperation. Bishops are getting more inhumane. True courage is needed from the Vatican even if it comes at great cost. Lives are at risk.