New Podcast, “Dear Alana,” Highlights Dangers of Conversion Therapy in Catholicism

In a new eight-episode podcast, “Dear Alana,” Simon Kent Fung hopes to raise awareness and accountability around the danger of conversion therapy in Catholic spaces.

Fung tells the story of Alana Chen, a 24-year-old woman who died by suicide in 2019. Fung and Chen share similar stories: both were raised Catholic and considered joining religious life but struggled with the church’s teaching on homosexuality. Both were counseled by pastoral ministers to engage in therapy which centered ideas commonly practiced in conversion therapy. For Chen, this resulted in severe self-hatred and, ultimately, led to taking her own life. 

Fung, deeply resonating with Chen’s experience, has sought to share her story in the hopes of shedding light on the danger many Catholics face when their leaders and mentors endorse and perpetuate the attitudes and practices such as those which Chen encountered.

The Catholic Church, which condemns sexual activity, but not sexual attraction, between people of the same gender, does not officially condone conversion therapy, a practice which seeks to ‘heal’ individuals from so-called “same-sex attraction.” However, Fung has found through experience that ideas and tactics commonly found in conversion therapy are prevalent in some church spaces, Catholic ones included.

“Conversion therapy as it’s practiced today looks more like talk therapy, one on one with a therapist who employs a lot of conversion therapy ideologies and narratives in order to help their clients ‘heal’ from their ‘deviant sexual identity,’” Fung said, in an interview with America. The official branding may have changed, but the content and impact often remains the same.

Fung, through conversations with Alana’s mother, Joyce Calvo, and the use of Chen’s journals, has identified the ways that priests and sisters close to Chen coached her to hide and suppress her sexuality. Fr. David Nix, whom Chen met while at the University of Colorado Boulder, met regularly with Chen and encouraged her to share with him details about her sexual feelings—meetings that Chen was told to keep secret from her parents. 

The Sisters of Life, a community of vowed religious working against abortion rights, recommended Chen to a therapist who provides conversion therapy and reinforced to her the idea that she could be ‘healed’, though Chen’s mother kept her from participating. After hearing the constant messaging that she was broken and that her desires were shameful, she isolated from the support of her parents, despaired, and ultimately died by suicide.

Fung and Calvo agree that this story is incredibly difficult to tell, but it is  necessary to do so. Fung hopes that this story will reach people who can see themselves in all aspects of the story: those, like Fung, who relate to Chen’s experiences of struggling with identity and faith, as well as those who otherwise may not have fully realized the potential harm of their anti-LGBTQ+ teaching and practices. Calvo, who has dedicated herself to advocacy since her daughter’s death, emphasizes this mission:

“‘Alana’s story shows us how much deep, difficult work the Catholic Church needs to do to learn how to love its LGBTQ+ members so that no parent is robbed of their children and no child is robbed of their God-given uniqueness. The church must stop rejecting LGBTQ+ children.'”

“Dear Alana,” which hit No. 1 on Apple Podcasts, has already reached a wide audience and prompted many Catholic writers to echo the importance of sharing this message.

 In a commentary on the podcast, Grace Doerfler, a Bondings 2.0 contributor, stresses the importance of raising awareness and honoring the stories of LGBTQ+ Catholics, especially those who have undergone conversion therapy. Many people deny that conversion therapy still takes place, especially within Catholic communities, but “Dear Alana” provides a harsh reality check. Priests, catechists, ministers, and teachers–and all in positions of influence must reckon with how their attitudes about LGBTQ+ individuals impact the people to whom they minister.

“Plenty of other young Catholics have similar stories [to Chen’s]. Their stories need to be heard by anyone in a position to shape their faith lives. To create a church where no young Catholics believe they are broken, stories like “Dear Alana” can help to make a difference,” Doerfler wrote.

Heidi Schlumpf, senior correspondent at the National Catholic Reporter (NCR) who has maintained correspondence with Chen’s mother, insists in her commentary on the podcast that the conversation sparked by Chen’s story is not a simple debate over doctrine but rather a “matter of life and death.”

Chris Damian, also writing in NCR, echoes this sentiment:

“Some might hear of Alana’s death and insist that we can’t know for sure why she took her life. But the release of “Dear Alana,” which engages Alana’s diaries as well as her close family and friends, makes continued ignorance look increasingly intentional. Many queer Catholics, including myself, have been telling the church: “I know why people like Alana die! Because I’ve felt that way! I’ve almost done that!” 

According to an article in Our Sunday Visitor, the St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Center of UC Boulder and the Archdiocese of Denver both released statements denying that any conversion therapy was ever practiced and take no responsibility for any harm caused to Chen.

We are always called to be a church of compassion, humility, and transformation. We must not only recognize the suffering of those among us but be humble enough to recognize the part we play in that suffering. When it comes to LGBTQ+ Catholics like Alana Chen, we all must hold ourselves accountable for the ways in which our language and practices have caused serious harm and be open to those ways in which our siblings call us to be better, before further irreparable damage is done.

—Phoebe Carstens (they/them), September 29, 2023