Gender Fluid Nun Describes A Most Graced Moment

A gender-fluid Roman Catholic nun has idenitfied a moment at a New Ways Ministry retreat for lesbian and queer religious as her life’s greatest moment of “joyful ascent.”

Sister Suzanne Patterson

Sr. Suzanne Patterson, a member of the Sisters of the Holy Cross, Notre Dame, Indiana told the story of this moment on The National Catholic Reporter’s Global Sisters Report in answer to the question: “What has been the most “joyful ascent” moment in your life — that lifted, surprised and brought you closer to God?”

Sr. Patterson explained how as she was growing up she identified as a boy, and her family gave her the freedom to do so. However, she still struggled emotionally:

“It was years before I realized that I was gender fluid. I lived with a ‘behind the scenes’ feeling of not belonging, of being on the other side of the playground, outside the circle. Perhaps it was not always true, but it was how I felt.”

She joined the Sisters of the Holy Cross over 60 years ago, but explained that while ministry occupied her time, “I kept my feelings and thoughts about myself to myself, with the exception of sharing at my 12-step meetings. . . . Neither self-acceptance nor belonging come easily.”

Her moment of grace came while on retreat:

“One special moment solidified my experience of belonging. I sensed God’s amazing presence. It was the most unexpected moment of joy.

“Four years ago, I attended a retreat for lesbian/queer religious sisters sponsored by New Ways Ministry. Issues of gender were presented and discussed. This first experience opened my eyes and heart.

“The following year, walking down the hallway toward the retreat group, a sense of lightness suddenly filled my being. I felt young and happy. I had found my people and they had found me. These sisters expressed the same questions and fears that I had. They were finding the same joy with one another as I had begun to feel with them. We knew who we were and we could be ourselves.

“The experience of belonging and becoming more myself began simply, yet it was the most significant moment in my life. Not only did I know myself and feel accepted by others, but most importantly, I felt loved and accepted by our Creator.”

Her answer was part of a series that GSR publishes called “The Life,” in which each month they ask several members of religious women’s communities to answer a reflective question.  You can read the entirety of Sr. Patterson’s answer by clicking here and scrolling down the page.  Her answer is the fifth one in the article.

To learn more about New Ways Ministry’s programs and resources for lesbian and queer religious, click here. (For information on the parallel program for gay priests, brothers, deacons, click here. 

Love Tenderly: Sacred Stories of Lesbian and Queer Religious is an anthology of first-person stories from 23 members of women’s religious communities, published by New Ways Ministry.  For more information and to order a copy, click here. 

—Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry, September 22, 2026