Holy Saturday: Waiting at the Tomb In the Shadow of the Cross

Today’s reflection for Holy Saturday is from Sister Donna McGarland, OSF, a regular Bondings 2.0 contributor.  She is one of the authors in Love Tenderly: Sacred Stories of Lesbian and Queer Religious published by New Ways Ministry.  

It’s dark.  All is silent.  A heavy feeling of emptiness and despair is felt all over the earth.  

In the background, the three crosses remain, silhouetted against the bright sky.  

In my heart, I still hear them – the jeers and taunting as my Beloved hung on the cross.  Hypocrites who just a week ago shouted, “Hosanna to the Son of David!” were calling for his crucifixion!  I still hear their demands: “Crucify Him!!  Crucify Him!”  

I thought I knew some of these people.  I trusted them.  Now, I don’t know who to trust!  

In my prayer today, I’m sitting here in this garden of death where his body was interred.  Pain and anguish paralyze me remembering the events of yesterday.  What now?  Where do we go from here? I am so afraid.  Fear blinds me from seeing any road forward.  

Fear! …  I’ve lived most of my life in fear.  I remember the shame I felt when I first questioned my sexual orientation.  The momentary feeling of an inner freedom of being able to name why I felt so different quickly yielded to the need to hide my truth out of fear that others may find out.   

I remember when I first really encountered God.  Jesus embraced me on that retreat and held me in my pain.  His love for me cast out my fear, and I knew I was loved and that I was created beautiful and whole.  I no longer had to hide.   

How ironic now as I sit here in this garden.  He’s gone, having been brutally murdered.   I still feel his love for me even in his absence.  I hope that the power of His love that transformed my life years ago will continue to transform others’ fear and bring them freedom, hope, and life if they welcome him.  Jesus is always inviting us to know freedom.

I once heard it said, “Fear is the basis of all anger.”  Was their fear so great that it drove them to murder?  What were they afraid of?  

Loss of power?  Of Control?  

Suddenly, it hit me.  I’m not only mourning Jesus’ death and crucifixion 2000 years ago.  It’s happening today.  ICE agents are murdering US citizens and beating protesters.  LGBTQ+ rights are being denied.   Transgendered persons are stripped of their dignity.  Mass shootings are happening all over.  An illegal and immoral war is being waged in Iran and the list goes on.  My heart is breaking as the magnitude of today’s reality confronts me.  Jesus continues to be crucified.

Fear is powerful and drives people to hate. Jesus said, “Perfect love casts out fear.”  

I know tomorrow is Easter and we’ll celebrate the fullness of Christ’s perfect love that, I believe, was the reason the Resurrection had to happen. Despite the darkness of Good Friday and the hate that murdered him, Christ rose from the dead.  His love conquered evil.  His love continues to conquer the evil that is in our world today.  His love, through all of us, will cast out fear and hatred.

May we/I love that deeply!

–Donna McGartland, OSF, April 4, 2026