Why LGBTQ+ Catholics Remain in Church–And Why Dissent is Good!
Michele Dillon
Michele Dillon, PhD, is a professor of sociology and dean of the College of Liberal Arts at the University of New Hampshire. Among her research interests is the relationship between religion and society. She is the author of several publications such as Postsecular Catholicism (2018) and Catholic Identity. Balancing Reason, Faith, and Power (1999).
Bonding 2.0’s Elisa Belotti spoke with Dr. Dillon about the reasons why Catholics who are critical of Church teachings – especially on gender, sexuality, and authority – choose to remain within the Catholic Church rather than leave.
EB: In your research, you argue that reform-minded Catholics remain within the Catholic tradition not in spite of their dissent but because of it. From a sociological perspective, what motivates this choice to stay, especially when leaving might seem easier or less painful?
MD: “Dissent” is complicated within Catholicism because of its theological tradition that affirms “faith and reason.” Catholics are thus expected to make reasonable assessments discerning the conscientious Catholic approach amid the complexities of particular circumstances. Vatican II further explicated the responsibilities lay Catholics have in exercising judgment, critical inquiry, and the duty to draw not only on Catholic teachings but also to thoughtfully incorporate new knowledge and insights derived from lived experience. In this context, “dissent” is not dissent for the sake of being oppositional or difficult.
My research finds that Catholics who disagree with official church teachings (e.g., on sexual behavior or women’s ordination) have very thoughtful, immersive Catholic reasons for their views, and they are empowered to stay for a mix of reasons. Most grow up in Catholic families and have an extensive family and community connection to the Church. This is changing with current cohorts because of disaffiliation and the reduced church-goings habits of their parents and grandparents.
Nonetheless, childhood experiences of the Mass, Communion, and Catholic rituals have a deeply embedded long-term impact. Many who stay say that to do otherwise would amount to renouncing an embodied, viscerally felt piece of their identity. The values exemplified in the gospels, exposure to positive homilies, positive interactions with priests, and Catholic teaching on the dignity of the person are also resources that empower some to stay despite the devaluing of their status (e.g., as LGBTQ+) in official church teaching.
EB: Your work challenges the idea that dissenting Catholics represent a form of “cafeteria Catholicism” or a protestantization of Catholicism. How does your research help us understand dissent instead as a sign of seriousness, commitment, and responsibility toward the Catholic tradition?
MD: Faced with a long, multi-stranded tradition with so many significant elements of faith, religious practices, and moral and social teaching, it would be hard for anyone, no matter how committed to Catholicism, to fully embrace its totality. Further, the nuances in Catholic doctrine on any subject or on any specific faith element (e.g., the place of Mary) as well as the Church’s history of openness to theological development means that Catholicism cannot be reduced to a yes/no checklist of “orthodoxy” (notwithstanding the pastoral and institutional-historical contexts in which this may be how it is presented).
Some Catholics have a “pick and choose” approach that is primarily driven by personal convenience, sentimentality (e.g., only attending Mass at Christmas or Easter), or political bias (selectively quoting scripture or Catholic social teaching to bolster an ideological stance). Many others, however, sincerely struggle with various aspects of Catholicism; they are active Mass-goers and Communicants and active parishioners, yet there are specific elements of church teaching that they cannot either reasonably or emotionally accept.
EB: Many queer Catholics describe their relationship with the Church as deeply ambivalent: a source of both harm and meaning. How does the concept of Catholic identity as a dynamic process of becoming, rather than a fixed state of being, help explain why LGBTQ+ Catholics continue to claim Catholicism as their own?
MD: Most Catholics have an ambivalent relationship with the Church! Queer Catholics have compelling reasons for ambivalence especially given how the Vatican has used natural law to categorically differentiate between an objectively ordered and disordered sexuality. Ambivalence in my view is a good thing – because it shows that people still want to engage with the Church. And it is in the process of ongoing communal engagement that queer and other Catholics can more fully discover the doctrinal and pastoral nuances and contribute both to the ferment within Catholicism and the realization of a more inclusive Church.
Being Catholic is not a concretized identity. As mentioned earlier, Vatican II’s affirmation of conscience, freedom of inquiry, and lay co-responsibility means that Catholics are required to dynamically enact what it means to be Catholic in the context of their societal and personal circumstances.
I saw this work in action first-hand when I did my community study at Dignity/Boston back in the 1990s. That was a very different time – in society, in the Church, and in the cultural and legal status of gay people.Dignity participants did not have public role models of people who were gay and Catholic – and as I observed their weekly Masses and other events, it was clear that they were bringing those two identities together in what seemed to me (who is Catholic, but not gay) to be visible evidence of a coherent and authentic, gay-inclusive Catholicism. The creative interpretive discernment that they collectively engaged in had tensions, but it also showed how being gay and Catholic is an actual real identity, that it’s meaningful, and that it can (and must) be enacted/practiced.
EB: You write that interpretive authority in contemporary Catholicism is more fluid and communal than the hierarchical structure of the Church might suggest. What does this mean, concretely, for queer Catholics and their allies who are working for change on issues such as sexuality, gender, and inclusion? In your view, what kind of power do they already exercise, even without institutional approval?
MD: The Church truly is the whole people of God, clerical and lay, working together for the good of the Church (and society). Catholics who are conscientiously discerning what it means to be Catholic in their everyday societal and personal context, are participating in the ongoing co- creation of the Church and Catholicism. Those working for change in the Church are being effective – the process is slow and uneven – but it cannot be denied.
The Synod on the Family (2014-15) was/is significant, and it and other post-synodal developments have brought Catholicism to a place where Cardinal Robert McElroy has publicly called out the need for a new theology of sex and sin. That’s powerful! Had queer Catholics and others (e.g., divorced/ remarried Catholics without an annulment) left the Church, or become silent or invisible, it’s unlikely we would be witnessing doctrinal change in this domain. Their lived commitment to a Catholicism that can encompass their pastoral and sacramental integration helps realize the promise of Catholicism and advances the Church’s relevance.
—Elisa Belotti, New Ways Ministry, February 12, 2026
Why We Stayed
In 2019, Bondings 2.0 invited readers to share the stories of their relationship with the Catholic Church by writing on the theme of “Why We Came, Why We Left, Why We Stayed.” We “borrowed” this topic from a feature that Commonweal magazine published. We felt it was important for LGBTQ people to share their own stories, so we made the invitation to our readers.
Here are links to some of the answers to “Why We Stayed.”
Why I Stay: Pushing Back Against Those Who Would Treat Us Like Dogs
Why I Stay: ‘To Give Peace to Those Full of Self-Hate’
Why I Stay: “Jesus wants me to stay”
Why We Stay: Owning Faith, Making Change, Being Out and Proud
Why I Stay: ‘God brought me to both my Catholic and LGBT identities’
Why I Stay: The Mystery of God’s Call in the Shadow of God’s Wings
Why I Stay: ‘I finally found a church home and a ministry that woke my faith.’
Thank you Dr. Dillon!
I was blessed to have had a therapist who told me that I was blessed to be an outsider inside the church! He also pointe out that to remain in the church would not be easy, but to remain was important for me and the Church. So here I am still gay and still a religious brother 60 + years being inside out. Thanks be to God.
Beautiful and much-needed fleshing out of the role of reason and conscience and discernment in carving out a space for us “ambivalent Catholics” in the queer community. My dad helped to forge this space in me for wrestling with faith through his work on the authority of the Church, and I feel he would have greatly appreciated your insight here. Thank you for sharing.
I appreciate how the article frames dissent not as something inherently negative, but as a meaningful conversation. Healthy communities don’t thrive on silence or uniformity, they grow through listening, questioning, and holding space for diverse experiences. LGBTQ Catholics expressing their truth isn’t about rejecting the Church; it’s about asking the Church to listen, understand, and evolve in a way that honours everyone’s dignity. That perspective felt thoughtful and far more constructive than simply dismissing dissent as opposition