JOURNEYS: Wrestling with Ourselves, Wrestling with God

New Ways Ministry offers a series of  scriptural reflections for LGBTQ+ people and allies, entitled “Journeys.” These resources are suitable for individual reflection,  for discussion with a spiritual friend or counselor, or for communal reflection in a parish, school, or other faith community.  

Today we debut a new installment for the series based on the story commonly referred to as “Jacob Wrestling With the Angel,” found in Genesis 32.

This reflective exercise is housed on the “Journeys” page of New Ways Ministry’s website.  There you will find a button to download the text in PDF format.  You can also persuse a few dozen other reflection exercises based on other scripture passages..

We pray that these resources will aid your personal journey with God.

If you would like to share some of your reflections with other Bondings 2.0 readers, please feel free to post whatever responses you have in the “Comments” section of this post.

Wrestling with Ourselves, Wrestling with God

“Jacob Wrestling with the Angel” by Alexander Louis Leloir, 1865

The story of Jacob’s nighttime wrestling match has inspired countless artistic and spiritual interpretations, many of which have homoerotic undertones. Scripture tells us that the patriarch was engaged in a very physical, all-night encounter with a figure only identified by his gender: “a man.” The struggle resulted in a very intimate wound to Jacob’s hip socket, and emerging with a new identity, signified by a new name. The physical and aesthetic aspects of this story are rich with queer meaning.

LGBTQ+ people have long been drawn to this scripture, perhaps because of Jacob’s reputation for defying gender norms. In Genesis 25, Jacob is depicted with traditionally feminine characteristics. He is contrasted against his brother, the manly Esau, who is noted for his hairy physique and his skill as a hunter. 

Seven chapters later, Jacob and Esau are much older and have lived apart for many years. As he tries to sleep on the eve of their reunion, Jacob is struggling emotionally, perhaps with self-doubt, guilt, painful memories, and unresolved aspects of his identity. He was always compared with his more overtly masculine brother. Perhaps on this night, he begins to measure and doubt himself again.

The scripture text leaves ambiguity about who the man is that he is wrestling. Is this a struggle against a facet of himself, another person, or an angel? In any case, the resulting blessing makes clear that on some level, he was wrestling with the divine. In the process, he encountered God “face to face”, and their relationship became more intimate.

Jacob’s struggle reminds us of the battles we as LGBTQ+ people fight internally. Jacob was the leader of a large and prosperous household with many resources, but this was a struggle he had to go through alone. Jacob was tenacious. He grappled and held on until he received God’s blessing. He is an example to LGBTQ+ people of faith, showing us the blessing that comes from being unwilling to give up on God, and on ourselves.

GENESIS 32:23-31

That night, however, Jacob arose, took his two wives, with the two maidservants and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he got them and brought them across the wadi and brought over what belonged to him, Jacob was left there alone. Then a man wrestled with him until the break of dawn. When the man saw that he could not prevail over him, he struck Jacob’s hip at its socket, so that Jacob’s socket was dislocated as he wrestled with him. The man then said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go until you bless me.” “What is your name?” the man asked. He answered, “Jacob.” Then the man said, “You shall no longer be named Jacob, but Israel,[e] because you have contended with divine and human beings and have prevailed.” Jacob then asked him, “Please tell me your name.” He answered, “Why do you ask for my name?” With that, he blessed him. Jacob named the place Peniel, “because I have seen God face to face,” he said, “yet my life has been spared.” 

FOR REFLECTION:

1. The “man” in this story could be associated with an angel, God, Jesus, or even Jacob’s inner self. What do you think the “man” represents in this story? Why?
2. Jacob was wounded in this fight. Has struggling with God, yourself, or your identity left you with scars?
3. Jacob could have walked away, instead of continuing to wrestle even after being hurt. Do you think he should have given up? Why or why not? What kept him from walking away? 
4. What has kept you wrestling with God, even in the face of anti-LGBTQ messages from the Church?
5. What blessing do you hope to gain from grappling with your faith, gender, and sexuality?

PRAYER

Painting “Jacob Wrestling with God” by Jack Baumgartner, 2012. Found at https://www.redeemerwv.org/blog/jacob-wrestling-with-god-painter

Jacob’s Blessing

If this blessing were easy,
anyone could claim it.
As it is,
I am here to tell you
that it will take some work.

This is the blessing
that visits you
in the struggling,
in the wrestling,
in the striving.

This is the blessing
that comes
after you have left
everything behind,
after you have stepped out,
after you have crossed
into that realm
beyond every landmark
you have known.

This is the blessing
that takes all night
to find.

It’s not that this blessing
is so difficult,
as if it were not filled
with grace
or with the love
that lives
in every line.

It’s simply that
it requires you
to want it,
to ask for it,
to place yourself
in its path.
It demands that you
stand to meet it
when it arrives,
that you stretch yourself
in ways you didn’t know
you could move,
that you agree
to not give up.

So when this blessing comes,
borne in the hands
of the difficult angel
who has chosen you,
do not let go.
Give yourself
into its grip.

It will wound you,
but I tell you
there will come a day
when what felt to you
like limping

was something more
like dancing
as you moved into
the cadence
of your new
and blessed name.

—Jan Richardson
from The Cure for Sorrow: A Book of Blessings for Times of Grief

© Jan Richardson. janrichardson.com

AUDIO MEDITATION

Jacob’s transformative encounter with God happened when he was alone, facing himself and God. Like Jacob, you may find that being alone with your thoughts awakens an internal struggle. This can take the form of doubts, painful memories, or other uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that we usually try to push aside.

Jacob’s story encourages us to be tenacious in the face of these struggles. Instead of distracting ourselves, we can turn to God with our questions and confusion, to wrestle until we receive a blessing. Close your eyes or lower your gaze, and spend the next five minutes in quiet reflection as you listen to this musical meditation on the story of Jacob.

Listen to “I Will Not Let Go” by Garrison Doles.

–Ariell Watson Simon, New Ways Ministry, January 21, 2026