Queerly Beloved: A Reflection on the Baptism of the Lord
Ish Ruiz
Today’s reflection is from Ish Ruiz, Assistant Professor of Queer & Latinx Decolonial Theology at Pacific School of Religion, Berkeley, California. He is the author of LGBTQ+ Educators in Catholic Schools: Embracing Synodality, Inclusivity, and Justice, and a co-editor of Cornerstones: Sacred Stories of LGBTQ+ Employees in Catholic Institutions.
Today’s readings for the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord can be found here.
I know I speak for many queer Catholics when I say that the phrase “This is my Beloved [Child], in whom I am most pleased,” is one we wish we heard more often growing up.
Jesus heard this phrase from His Father after His Baptism at the Jordan River.
For many queer Catholics, such a reminder of belovendess carries an emotional weight that is hard to overstate. Too often, our formative years are devoid of such affirmations and are instead marked by exclusion, judgment, and the sense that our desires, bodies, and identities are “disordered.” What so many of us long for is a voice of absolute, unconditional welcome that reminds us of the most important truth of our existence: that we are deeply loved by God for who we are.
In today’s Gospel, Jesus is submerged into the waters of Baptism, not to seek purification from some evil, but rather as an act of solidarity with those who are believed to be unlovable. He is doing so to model for all of us that God’s grace extends even to those who do not believe themselves to be worthy of it. As Peter explains in the second liturgical reading, “God shows no partiality” (Acts 10;34).
Theological talk about Baptism has historically centered around washing away our original sin. But what exactly does that mean? What exactly is this original sin we need to wash away?
In a recent essay I published on Outreach, I proposed that – contrary to popular opinion – Adam and Eve’s “original sin” was not pride, greed, or even lust. Instead, their original sin took place when they gave in to a sinister idea planted by the snake in their minds: that they were not good enough exactly as they were and that they needed to take matters into their own hands to become something more. This is the original sin that led to their need to bite some fruit in order to become “like God” (Genesis 3:5). If Adam and Eve had held steadfast to their enoughness and their belovendess as children of God, they would not have needed to bite the fruit.
In other words, the original sin of Adam and Eve, to which we are also susceptible, is an amnesia about our belovendess. The temptation toward pride, greed, lust or any of the other cardinal sins stems from this belief that we are not good just as we are. This unawareness of our inherent goodness tempts us to seek to fill our imagined void of not-enough-ness by sinning.
Through Baptism, we reclaim this reality that we are God’s beloved and we allow this notion to permeate throughout our lives as we become agents of transformation.
As today’s readings remind us, when we receive the Spirit of God through Baptism, we become agents of healing and liberation (Acts 10:38). Jesus’s Baptism invites us to reclaim our belovendess and to dream of a world where we are all blessed with God’s peace (Psalm 29) and justice (Isaiah 42: 1-4, 6-7).
At various stages of my life, I too have struggled claiming my belovendess. In my early 20s, as I underwent a period of spiritual crisis trying to reconcile my queer identity with my vocation as a Catholic educator, my spiritual director recommended that I read Henry Nouwen’s book Life of the Beloved. In it, Nouwen reminds us that we are all chosen, blessed, broken, and given. And he explains that belovendess is not only a fundamental reality of our lives, but also a call: We are not just beloved, but also have to continuously become the beloved. We have to continually remind ourselves that we are loved by God and that we are worthy of a world where we can thrive.
It was what I needed to hear at the time – and that book marked the beginning of a queer spiritual journey that stemmed from a key fundamental reality: God loves me because of my queerness.
I assign the book to my students, many of whom are queer, in my Spiritual Formation class at Pacific School of Religion. From them, I learned that queer belovendess is powerful and grace-filled. Our queer individuality allows us to claim that we are chosen exactly for who we are in our uniqueness. Our queer creativity is a blessing that allows us to dream of new cultural, political, and familial realities. When we experience moments of brokenness as a queer community (e.g., the AIDS crisis, the persecution of trans persons, and the oppression of some Church leaders), we stand with each other as a community to remind each other of our worth and dignity. And, finally, queer Catholics know how to serve the world: we accept that we are given by God to make the Church and world a better place for all.
To reclaim our belovedness, especially as queer Catholics, is therefore never a private or purely interior act; it is a communal and prophetic one. In a world—and too often a Church—that still communicates conditional belonging, authentically living queer lives stemming from our baptismal belovedness represents an important form of transformative resistance.
When queer Catholics insist on our dignity, love our bodies, tell our stories, and remain present in a Church that often oppresses us, we give witness to a deeper truth revealed at the Jordan: that God’s voice is stronger than every voice of exclusion.
We are God’s queerly beloved.
May we never forget it.
—Ish Ruiz, January 11, 2025
This essay is absolutely wonderful. The writing is so lovely, and the message is so vibrant. It has helped me remember my inherent “belovedness” and how it is the key to live a truly full, authentic life. Thank you to the author, whose insights have had a powerful, positive influence on me.
Amen. Thank you, Ish.
Thank you Ish for your very powerful and insightful reflection on the readings. It ranks in the best of homilies. Henri Nowen has been one of my spiritual directors for years, through his books. After reading your words today, I picked up my copy of Life of the Beloved again, after many years. I remember when I read it, and reviewed all my specific highlighted lines. Beloved is what matters. My husband Jerry and I have been together for 52 years and were blessed to discover through each other how beloved we were and are; and, know our witness has helped others. Thank you for who you are and the support you provide to so many who discover they are queerly beloved! Frank
I am a 70-year-old, straight, cis-gendered, Catholic woman – and I wish I had seen your article before I taught our OCIA community, today. I don’t know if any of our Catechumens and Candidates are LGBTQIA+, but I know we *all* need to hear your prophetic word about our belovedness. It’s too easy to interpret the message of the Baptism of the Lord as meant for saints – or at least for us in the future. It’s harder to hear that God loves us, and is well pleased with us, right now. Thank you for your gift to the rest of the Church.
What a liberating article, Dr. Ish. The journey to actually believe that we are God’s beloved exactly as we are created is a daily process to self-discovery. Through my spiritual director’s wise patience and understanding and by way of insightful books such by Henri Nouwen, the truth gradually set me free. So true that Baptism does cement that reality, I also found by my own journey that I needed actual persons to affirm that in me. It’s love in action and by example. These wonderful angels seemed to appear at exactly the right moments of my journey.
I love Dr. Ish observation: “God loves me because of my queerness”. That is priceless. Through Baptism, I often heard that we are God’s beloved and we could allow this notion to permeate throughout our lives as we become agents of transformation. Yet for many, actual modeling of that is how my own purpose in life unfolded. I discovered that I truly needed to show men who were receptive that they are loved and valued. We do this together through safe touch, rest, relaxation and affirmation with the feeling of being cradled back to health. The feedback I have received confirms this deeper longing for human connection. Many of the men had placed Christian teachings on the shelf and were on their own searching to find what they felt most essential. Jesus often taught by example which were often the most powerful teachings. Touch often was a source of healing in this process. As I became aware of how to become an agent of healing and liberation, human touch, acceptance, and affirmation became my trademark. Amazing how miracles continue to occur in my life and theirs with the many surprises which add substance to life. We are truly the beloved and through the unconditional love of another person, the manifestation of a loving God is born. Having the freedom to be who we are and actually feel that by the care we receive allows these Blessings to take root and blossom.
Thank you for your wonderful article, Dr. Ish, as it offers me much comfort, affirmation and hope on my journey and living my own purpose.