The Joys of Finding an LGBTQ-Friendly Parish

A recent profile from NBC New York highlighted several Catholic parishes in the city for their LGBTQ-focused ministries and inclusive pastoral approaches. Interviews with parishioners explored the ways that these parishes enable their members to embody both their Catholic faith and their queer identities, oftentimes healing wounds of past rejection.

“For a really long time, I struggled with, ‘How do I maintain both of these very authentic identities in my life?'” said Ellie Crum, parishioner of St. Francis Xavier and member of the church’s Catholic Lesbians group. “It wasn’t really until recently, until moving to New York City, where I really became empowered and embraced my full self…my faith, my sexual identity, all of who that I am. And the Church of St. Francis Xavier had a huge part in that, because when you walk in those doors, it’s not a choice of being queer and Catholic, but living fully as a queer Catholic individual.”

NNeoma Chukwukelu, another member of the Catholic Lesbians group, said that she found peace at St. Francis Xavier, a parish that fully accepted her and allowed her to practice her faith openly, which was a stark change from her home in Nigeria. 

According to Rev. Ricardo da Silva, S.J. Assistant Pastor at St. Francis Xavier and journalist for America magazine, the sense of inclusion that Crum and Chukwukelu speak of is baked into St. Francis Xavier’s parish mission:

“Our philosophy is basic. It’s, ‘All our welcome.'” “Anybody who wants to worship — whoever you are, your racial background, your social background, your political background, whether you are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, however you identify — you are first and foremost a child of God…There is no exclusion [at St. Francis Xavier]. That’s the position of the Church. That’s what the Church teaches in the Catechism of the Church.” 

A few miles away at St. Paul the Apostle Church,  Rev. Paul Rospond, C.S.P., explained of  that welcome and inclusion are at the heart of the church’s ministry. In particular, the “Out at St. Paul” LGBTQ+ ministry group is a place where those who have felt rejected by the Church can be welcomed home:

“…Maybe they were from the parish where a priest would preach against gay marriage or preach against homosexuals — but there’s something there that still draws the person to God…[St. Paul the Apostle Church] is a place where they can give it a go and say, ‘Yes, I’m gay, but I’m searching [for] God. I don’t have to have all the answers, but I have the questions and people to walk with me.'”

Parishes like St. Paul the Apostle and St. Francis Xavier provide support, comfort, and community to their LGBTQ+ members, and they similarly have become places of solidarity for families, friends, and allies. 

Ellen Stilwell, Catholic parent of a gay child, said that finding St. Ignatius of Loyola parish, yet another LGBTQ+ friendly Catholic community in Manhattan,,, provided a sense of relief and comfort as she navigated holding both her unwavering love for her son and her Catholic identity:

“I was going to continue being Catholic and I was going to continue loving my son. But when I did get to St. Ignatius of Loyola and the very first mass, when the priest had said from the altar, ‘We welcome the gay community,” you know, my shoulders fell down. I was just relieved. I could practice my faith and raise my son and not feel awkward coming and going as if I was hiding something […] It was very comforting.”

Reflecting upon the years of LGBTQ+ ministry carried out within these parishes, many of the individuals who were interviewed spoke of Pope Francis’ positive approach towards LGBTQ+ outreach and  the progress that was made during his papacy. They have a strong sense of hope that Pope Leo will continue to facilitate this progress. Fr. James Martin, S.J, a well-known Catholic advocate for LGBTQ+ ministry commented:

“Pope Leo XIV has already talked about wanting to build bridges. His first time when he came out on the balcony of Saint Peter’s Basilica, and then in his address to the Cardinals…He’s talked about synodality, which means, you know, really listening to people and including them. And I have really high hopes for him.”

As for the parishes of St. Paul the Apostle, St. Francis Xavier, and St. Ignatius of Loyola, the mission remains the same, as described by da Silva:

“I just hope that that message of, ‘All are welcome. The doors are open to all. Welcome home. You are loved,’ is shouted from the rooftops, from every rafter of every church ceiling in New York City and beyond.”

—Phoebe Carstens, New Ways Ministry, July 25, 2025

To find a welcoming Catholic community near you, check out New Ways Ministry’s list of LGBTQ-friendly parishes and faith communities online.  If you know of a parish that should be added to the list please let us know by clicking here and completing the simple form.

To learn about how to make a plan for your parish to welcome LGBTQ+ people, or further develop already existing LGBTQ+ ministry projects, check out New Ways and Next Steps: Developing Parish LGBTQ+ Ministry (Liturgical Press) by Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry Executive Director.  

Learn about New Ways Ministry’s in-person and Zoom programs for introducing LGBTQ+ ministy to parishes and schools, by clicking the appropriate links in this sentence.