Two by Two: Why Disciples Work Better Together

Today’s reflection is from Bondings 2.0 contributor Ariell Watson Simon, whose brief bio and previous posts can be found here.

Today’s liturgical readings for the Fourteenth Sunday of Ordinary Time can be found here.

In today’s liturgical reading from the Gospel of Luke, Jesus commissions his disciples, sending them out in pairs to cure the sick, proclaim God’s kingdom, and prepare the region for his ministry. It is not a traditional choice of readings for a Catholic wedding, but when my wife and I began planning our ceremony together, we searched through the scriptures to find a Gospel reading that captured our sense of calling as a queer couple. We eventually settled on Jesus’s sending forth his disciples. 

We chose this story because it speaks to our experience of vocation. My wife and I, during our single years, had both committed ourselves to following in the way of Christ. A major part of our discernment of marriage was realizing that we were more joyful, more balanced, and even more effective disciples as a couple than we could be alone. Conventional wisdom (and basic logic) tells us that ‘1+1=2.’ But she and I together somehow seem to make three, as the Holy Spirit multiplies our gifts in relationship with one another. We have experienced that a Spirit-filled Christian marriage is more than the sum of its parts. “Better together” became our slogan, and eventually our wedding hashtag. A friend even made a “Better together” cake topper for our reception (see photo below), in celebration of this theme which has resonated throughout our shared life. 

My wife and I both work in direct service with people on the margins. The pay can be lousy, the hours long, and the needs overwhelming, but at the end of a long day, we take care of each other and ground ourselves in God’s abundant love. This mutual care and encouragement makes it possible to keep going, and to do so with gladness.

I imagine that Jesus had these benefits in mind when he commissioned his disciples to go forth two by two. Surely they could have covered more ground if each had undertaken a solo mission, but Jesus chose to send his disciples in pairs. Perhaps he had in mind the wisdom of Ecclesiastes, which my wife and I selected as the first reading at our wedding:

Two are better than one,

    because they have a good return for their labor:

If either of them falls down,

    one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls

    and has no one to help them up.

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

    But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered,

    two can defend themselves. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

Biblical commentators have long assumed that the duos in this passage are non-romantic pairings of straight men. But why? Scholars Joan Taylor and Helen Bond have argued that this passage more likely refers to male-female pairs, which would have had access to more social spheres in the strictly gender-segregated culture of first century Judea. If men and women were sent as travelling companions, it seems extremely likely that they would be married couples. This opens two lanes of interpretation about the people Jesus might have historically paired up for mission: married straight couples, or same-gender duos. Straddling the line between these, I see the route God has called my wife and I to take: a same-gender couple sent forth to proclaim God’s kin-dom in our own day.

Queer marriage is rarely recognized, much less celebrated, as a valid vocational path. But even from the first time he sent them out, Jesus anticipated that not all will welcome his disciples. He told them what to do when this happens: shake the dust of that town off their feet. Scholars say that this is a solemn, symbolic gesture. I believe it is also an act of self-care, an invitation toward cleansing from the gritty reminders of a painful rejection. When my wife and I have been rejected — whether for our faith, our sexuality, or the intersection of the two – I often feel a pervasive sense of dirtiness. Jesus said that instead of allowing these irritants to linger, rub, and make them feel unclean, the disciples should publicly shake off the dust. They had nothing to be ashamed of, so they could “shake it off,” leaving the judgement behind.

Shaking the dust off one’s feet is a serious act, as Jesus described it. I have never done it myself, but I have tried to shake the sand off my sandals while leaving the beach. It’s a clumsy business of standing on one foot, sometimes hopping around, and generally feeling foolish and ineffective. I can’t imagine shaking the dust off my feet while maintaining a sense of righteous anger. 

So when I read this passage, I prefer to think of “shaking it off” with the wild abandon of being on a dance floor. I envision my wife and I surrounded by friends at our wedding reception, all moving together with the music. An hour before, our wedding ceremony had proclaimed that we are ‘better together,’ strengthened by our unity to live out the Gospel.  Now, it was time to cut loose from the shame and stigma placed on us by a homophobic society.  We were sweaty and free and unashamed, crooning along to Taylor Swift’s hit song:

“And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate…
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off.”

When Jesus sent his disciples out in pairs, he did so in the context of a much larger community of 72 followers who were doing the same work, on their own journeys. This is the value of queer friends and allies: when we gather at weddings and graduations and ordinations and pride celebrations, our presence affirms each other’s callings. We ‘shake it off’ together. We find our strength as a community together. Truly, we are ‘better together.’

—Ariell Watson Simon, New Ways Ministry, July 6, 2025