Catholic Priest Asks “Do We Parrot Prejudice or Give LGBTQ+ People Hope?”

A New Jersey Catholic pastor has made a public call to the Catholic Church to “embrace LGBTQ+ people” and “arm them with hope.” 

Fr. Alexander Santora

Rev. Alexander Santora, pastor of Our Lady of Grace & St. Joseph parish, Hoboken, made his call in an op-ed essay on NorthJersey.com, posing a stark question of alternatives:

“The Church’s challenge is clear: do we parrot prejudice that is no longer tenable or do we give LGBTQ people hope?”

As he called for a more inclusive Catholic Church, Fr. Santora, who is also the dean of a region of Catholic churches in the Archdiocese of Newark,  described how the late Pope Francis paved the way for such a church:

“I think Pope Francis opened the doors for this next phase in moving toward an inclusive church and welcoming LGBTQ individuals to celebrate the goodness in their lives especially as a couple often with children. 

“ ‘Only through such respectful and compassionate listening can we enter on the paths of true growth and awaken a yearning for the Christian ideal: the desire to respond to God’s love and bring to fruition what God has sown in our lives,’ the late pope wrote in his encyclical, ‘Fratelli Tutti (Brothers & Sisters All).’”

The priest  recalled two sets of couples he met early in his pastorate. One couple consisted of two older men, one who eventually developed dementia and was unable to continue attending church. The other couple were middle-aged Eucharistic ministers who supported the first couple during this difficult time by bringing Communion to their home. Santora writes:

“Neither couple never once shared why they lived together — even to this day — whether they were simply roommates or in a same sex relationship and it’s inappropriate for a minister to inquire. I think every church and house of worship has couples like the ones I know who may be LGBTQ and do not wish to talk about their sexual relationship. For them, they are beyond labels and simply want to worship in peace. Their consciences afford them peace of mind and no one is denying them their relationship with God.” 

Society has come a long way in its understanding of LGBTQ+ people, though he notes that it was not until the 1960s that a real understanding of LGBTQ+ identities came about. The Stonewall Riots, along with other protests, gave people a voice against discrimination and allowed them to fight against oppression. Finally in 1973, homosexuality was removed from the American Psychiatric Association’s list of mental disorders, allowing LGBTQ+ folks to see their sexuality and gender as unique identities rather than as “conditions.”

Santora points out, though the Catholic Church is behind when it comes to new understandings of sexuality. . While he believes Pope Francis “opened the doors for this next phase in moving toward an inclusive church and welcoming LGBTQ individuals,” there is still work to be done. He explains:

“While behavioral sciences have adapted to this monumental change, the church continues to call homosexuality actions ‘disordered.’ No one is born disordered and one’s sexual orientation is not a choice save to act on it. The church will continue to uphold heterosexual marriage as the paradigm and even Pope Francis acknowledged as much.

“But where does that leave gays and lesbians? Most are not called to live celibacy and like any human being desire the intimacy and love of a stable union. Here is where Pope Leo XIV can begin to develop the theological underpinnings of same sex marriage. So far, his statements as a bishop, cardinal and a bit as pope do not seem encouraging in this regard.”

Rev. Santora sees hope, though, by pointing to the life and work of Rev. Paul Morrissey, a gay Augustinian, as an example of how to embrace LGBTQ+ people in religious spaces. In his new book, Why I Remain a Gay Catholic: A Spiritual-Sexual Journey, Rev. Morrisey chronicles his life as a gay priest  Morrisey’s lifetime journey has brought him to have hope for the Church. Morrisey  states in his book:

“Same sex marriage can gradually come to be understood, then, not as a threat to marriage as we have known and loved it but as a blessing for the Church, a sign of God’s committed love for each one of us, whether gay or straight.”

The answer to Santora’s initial question of two alternative paths for the Church is simple. The Church has a duty to give the LGBTQ+ community hope, as well as a safe, accepting space for spiritual development. By embracing people as they are, just like Rev. Santora and Rev. Morrisey have, we can build that more inclusive church. 

—Sarah Cassidy, New Ways Ministry, July 1, 2025