Has Our Church ‘Run Out of Wine’ for Loving Those Who Are Different?

Today’s reflection is from Fr. Paul Morrissey, D. Min., an Augustinian friar priest who was one of the pioneers of gay ministry in the U.S. Catholic Church. He has authored many magazine articles and three books, including the forthcoming Why I Remain a Gay Catholic: A Spiritual-Sexual Journey(Paulist Press, June 2025). His webpage, TouchedbyGod.net, intends to foster a dialogue about the gift of sexuality.

Paul will be the facilitator at New Ways Ministry’s upcoming retreat for gay priests/brothers/deacons, March 24-27, 2025, near Hartford, Connecticut.  For more information, click here.

The liturgical readings for today, the Second Sunday in Ordinary Time, can be found by clicking here.

In the film “Jesus of Nazareth,” there is a scene in which Jesus is shown dancing in a joyful circle with his disciples. It is a wedding feast.  This scene has always been one of my favorite images of Jesus. In today’s Gospel, we encounter Jesus at such a wedding. His mother is there, too.

During the celebration, Mary notices something that could be embarrassing to the feast’s hosts. She motions to her son and says, “They have run out of wine. “Jesus responds a little brusquely, “Woman, how does your concern affect me?” In other words, “I am having a good time with my friends. Don’t bother me.” Even more pointedly, he calls her “woman.” It’s as though she is just some lady in the crowd. Then he says, “My hour has not yet come.”

What does “my hour” mean or refer to? St. John’s Gospel often refers to Jesus’ “hour” at the key moment of his passion on the cross for our salvation. At the wedding feast, an early stage of his public life, Jesus is shown to be aware of where his calling will lead, perhaps resisting it, or maybe not agreeing on the precise time of its beginning. It is as though he wants just a little more time to relax with his friends before his passion begins. Or maybe he had another beginning in mind. But Mary simply directs the waiters to “Do whatever he tells you.”

Can we trust that Mary knows what ‘lacking ‘ like the wine) feels like? She didn’t have a husband when she became pregnant?) Do we think she knows that ‘lacking something’ can create shame and embarrassment and even danger due to other people’s reactions? And can we trust that it was precisely Mary’s sensitivity in this matter that might have made her point out this need to her son, Jesus?

Jesus, even if he feels it is ‘not his time,’ hears his mother’s compassion and begins his public life. This generous response may give the Church an example as it learns to live with the LGBTQ people in its midst.  Maybe we or others have experienced ourselves at first like an unwanted pregnancy. As a surprise and even shameful. “How did this happen?” we may have wondered, mimicking Mary’s response at the Annunciation. Yet, in time we may have also said in prayer, “Be it done to me according to your word.”

This marriage/birthing image are present throughout the Scriptural words for today. In the reading from Isaiah, we read: “I will not be silent…I will not be quiet!” (for Zion’s sake). Also, “No longer will people call you “forsaken” and “desolate,” but rather, “my delight.” Finally, “As a young man marries a virgin, your Builder shall marry you, and as a bridegroom rejoices in his bride, so shall your God rejoice in you.”

These marital images refer to Israel—and they also include those of us who follow in Israel’s spiritual lineage, the Church. Let the world know, Isaiah proclaims, that you are no longer forsaken and desolate because YHWH has taken you as his bride. He has married you. What a turnaround! What a message on this Sunday when we celebrate a wedding feast with Jesus and Mary in attendance. Let us and the Church be filled with delight as we wake up to the marital embrace of God’s love for us after our exile.

As LGBTQ people, can we hear this message for us today? You also are this bride of God, no longer forsaken and desolate, but his delight.

And as a church, can we hear the message that if God can be spoken about as “marrying” his beloved (Zion), then why is the hierarchy so unable to accept gay relationships as signs of God’s love? As a church, are we stingy? Do we doubt the breadth of God’s love? Maybe these lacks on the church’s part are one way of interpreting what is meant when we hear Mary call out to Jesus, “They have run out of wine.”

The responsorial psalm urges us onward and outward with the message: “Proclaim God’s marvelous deeds to all the nations.” Yes, God has married us, each of us as individuals and the whole Church community. With indescribable joy–as at a wedding feast where suddenly 120 gallons of fine wine appear–let us enter into his marriage tent with him as the headwaiter exclaims, “You have saved the best wine until last.” Then let the dancing begin.

In the second reading, St. Paul writes to the Corinthians–“There are different kinds of spiritual gifts…but one and the same Spirit that produces it.”  This is a wonderful message about differentness and the charisms that flow from this reality in creation.

Isn’t it precisely LGBTQ people’s awareness of our differentness that is a charism we bring to the Church? After many struggles and labor pains, we have experienced the Creator’s love for differentness. Isn’t this something to proclaim, even though the Church is often afraid of it? By our own faithfulness and belief in God’s presence in us, we proclaim to the churches how our different gifts work together for the good of the whole Body through the one Spirit.

Finally, if like many people today we sometimes feel that we have ‘run out of wine,’ (meaning our joy at living and trust in our ‘different’ kind of love), can we believe that Jesus can turn the ‘water’ of our sometimes bland lives into ‘wine–the party-going, celebrative,  joyful spirit that is in LGBTQ people’s hearts and souls as one of God’s spiritual gifts to us? The Church needs this ‘wedding spirit’ to bubble up like fine wine and send it into the new synodal adventure of hope as Pope Francis begs us in his last wonderful lap as our pope.

Rev. Paul Morrissey, OSA, January 19, 2025