Affirming—And Anointing—Chosen Names

Emma Cieslik

Today’s post is from guest contributor Emma Cieslik (she/her), who is a queer museum professional and religious scholar researching the intersections between gender, sexuality, material culture, and religion.

“The name changing experience is very much a Catholic experience,” retired Baltimore priest Fr. Joe Muth explained in an interview for “Queer and Catholic: A CLGS Oral History Project.” A co-founder of the first LGBTQ+ ministry in the Archdiocese of Baltimore–Fr. Muth shared the power of the Renaming Service that he and a Methodist minister led last year. “The fact that transgender people were asking to participate in some kind of service where they can do the same thing, it really fits our Catholic tradition and our Catholic story.”

In 2010, Fr. Muth and a group of lay leaders at St. Matthew’s Church, Baltimore, founded the LGBTQ+ Educating and Affirming Diversity, or LEAD, ministry. It was a LEAD member who sought a ceremony where they could proclaim their new name. On April 16, 2023, Fr. Muth, the Methodist minister, and the father of a trans child made this a reality as 50 people gathered in the Maryland Presbyterian Church, Baltimore. The service (available here) began with Psalm 139:13-14 from The Inclusive Bible translation, which read:

“You created my inmost being and stitched me together in my parent’s womb. For all these mysteries I thank you – for the wonder of myself, for the wonder of your works – my soul knows it well.”

The two clergy members leading the service shared that people of faith gather for baptisms, weddings, confirmations, and b’nai mitzvah to recognize and celebrate how changing someone’s name reflects their transition within the religious community. God, they shared, has changed people’s names to signify a key transition in their life, notably Sarai to Sarah, Jacob to Israel, Saul to Paul, and Simon to Peter whose stories were read in the renaming service. It only seems appropriate to celebrate LGBTQ+ changing their name with the same welcome, the clergy said.

Participants involved in the service were asked to write their dead names (i.e., the names given them at birth) in permanent marker on a piece of dissolvable rice paper, and their chosen name on a flat stone. Next, each participant folded the rice paper over, before placing it in the font and stirring it until the paper dissolved.

“The image of baptism,” the ministers shared, “is powerful, a new life in Christ being cleansed by the water. Much as some of us have been washed by the water of baptism and have been named God’s beloved children, we invite you, as God’s beloved child, to take your new name out of the water. Now, this stone may appear to be solid and permanent. But we know that rocks change as the water around them changes. The texture, the shape, all change as the flowing waters change. You, your identity, and your purpose will continue to grow, change, and be transformed.”

With the rock in hand, each participant was invited to share their name and pronouns, and, if they felt comfortable, why they chose that new name. The ministers explained that these new names are good, and they prayed that the names would reflect true self and empower the participants to live a life of love and justice. The community was then invited to walk with each person, empowering them to live an authentic life reflecting how they are “wonderfully and beautifully made.”

The clergy members laid their hands on each participant, as members of the congregation raised their own hands, to bless the newly-named people. This, Fr. Muth shared, “was a really important part of them being accepted by the community.”

Congregation members and the ministers then joined together to pray: “We affirm our continued walk with you in the common life of this community. We promise you our ongoing friendship and prayers as we share the hopes and labors of the work we are called to do. May we continue to grow together in God’s knowledge, love, and service, and be witnesses of acceptance and empowerment for all people.”

After this ceremony, all processed with the clergy members as they carried the bowl out the side door and poured the sacred water back into the garden. In doing so, the ordained leaders continued, “we return them to the earth, to history, to the circle of life, that they may provide nourishment for the new things that God will grow.”

It was joyous celebration of transition, acknowledging that the memories and relationships of this individual persists onwards with this identity, that names may change in the future to better reflect their identities just as water transforms a rock over time, and that the fight for trans rights is a divine one that necessitates people of faith to acknowledge the value of God’s trans children.

Hosting this service not only affirmed the person’s transition among members of their support system but also with members of the wider Church. This renaming ceremony is spiritually important, just like other sacraments including baptism, marriage, or confirmation, for LGBTQ+ Catholics.

As Catholics, we mark ourselves in the names of people whose faithfulness guides us towards salvation. We sign ourselves in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Thus, it’s spiritually necessary to affirm the lives and experiences of LGBTQ+ Catholics through renaming services just like this one. It is, as Fr. Muth said, “those kind of faith oriented moments that really help somebody to be able to acknowledge this is who I am before God.”

Note: The final service they created draws on another ritual created by Metropolitan Community Church minister Rev. Sandra Summers in the Book of Occasional Services in the Episcopal Church, as well as Transgender Naming Ceremony developed by the Unitarian Universalist minister Rev. Fred L. Hammond, a Transgender Renaming Service created by Episcopal chaplain Rev. Dr. Cameron Patridge, and a Transgender Renaming Ceremony created by Rabbi Heather Paul.

—Emma Cieslik (she/her), September 5, 2024