New Essay Highlights Voices of Queer Catholic Women Celebrating Pride

LGBTQ+ Catholics are “the church’s future saints,” says Angela, a woman interviewed in a National Catholic Reporter article that featured the voices of queer Catholic women. Angela says of the LGBTQ+ faithful, “Every voice around them in the church and outside of the church tells them that they don’t really belong ….[T]o be able to ignore that and stay focused on Christ is saintly, I think.”

Reporter Emily Claire Schmitt gathered the stories of queer women who, like Angela, understand and live their sexuality in a variety of ways, showcasing the spectrum of experiences among LGBTQ+ Catholic women. “Without exception,” Schmitt, who is a queer Catholic, concludes, “every woman I spoke with had read the catechism — as well as additional church documents on the subject — and understood that the church does not view sex-same desire as inherently sinful, but considers same-sex acts sinful. However, the women differed on whether or not they accepted this teaching.” Those interviewed include women in queer partnerships, living celibately, and in mixed-orientation marriages.

Regardless of whether they fully accept magisterial teaching, many of the women express discontent with how their sexuality is portrayed and understood by others. Becca used to believe, like many Catholics, that queer partnerships were “based on lust or selfishness,” rather than “an expression of God’s love, based on mutual sacrifice and affection.” This belief is based on a fixation on the physical aspects of queer relationships.

“Do they really think gay people are just all about sex?” asks Steff, another interviewee. She summarizes the terminology used by Courage International, as “Don’t call yourself gay, call yourself same-sex attracted. Don’t define yourself by your sinful temptations.”

“The church overall is very reductive when it comes to sexual orientation,” says Steff, pointing out that it focuses on carnal desire and actions. Schmitt shares how her own experience of sexuality is much deeper than this:

“For me, sexual orientation is about much more than a subjective experience of attraction. It has shaped my personal interactions and increased my instincts for empathy and solidarity. If I wasn’t bisexual, I might have the same life externally, but I would be a different person internally.”

Several of the women interviewed rejected the idea that celibacy should be the default vocation for queer Catholics. “Celibacy has always been viewed as a calling,” Steff explained, “but for gay people, it’s just forced on them that everybody has to be celibate or you can be in a mixed-orientation marriage…”

While celibacy can be an authentic and vibrant vocation for LGBTQ+ people, it must be freely chosen through genuine discernment. Tamara says of her experience discerning religious life, “If you don’t see sexuality in the right light, you can’t choose marriage healthily and you can’t choose celibacy healthily. Marriage won’t cure your porn addiction or your lust…You need to have a healthy view of your sexuality in order to freely and lovingly choose … and if you can’t do that, don’t use the priesthood or convent as a way to choose that for yourself.”

Schmitt says of the women interviewed that for those “who feel a sincere emotional pull toward the divine, the theology of the church is rarely a barrier,” adding, “Whether they accept or reject official Catholic teaching, they seem to find a way to integrate their faith practice into their lives.” For some, that happens outside of the institutional church. Becca says of her relationship with the church, “I think that my heart is Catholic and my values continue to reflect the life of Christ, but I am not trying to be a member of the Catholic institution when institutionally, it does not want me.”

Others describe deciding to remain within the Catholic Church. For example, Tamara recalls her confirmation, saying “I was sitting in the pew debating ‘Am I going to go up and write my name in the book?’… I remember making an act of faith at that moment,” she recalled. “I said ‘You know what? God I trust you, I believe that you’re real. I trust that I will find answers.'”

New Ways Ministry celebrates the voices of each of these courageous women as they find their own answers to questions of faith, vocation, and identity this Pride Month. Grace points to where she sees the spirit of Catholic and LGBTQ+ traditions overlapping: “June is the month of the Sacred Heart,” she observes. “I know there’s a lot of controversy about ‘Take back June for the Sacred Heart.’ How about we focus on the love and mercy part? … That’s what people need. Love and mercy.”

As we wrap up this Pride month, all of us at New Ways Ministry wish you a year full of love and mercy!

—Ariell Watson Simon (she/her) , New Ways Ministry, June 29, 2024